What is true is already so.
Owning up to it doesn't make it worse.
Not being open about it doesn't make it go away.
And because it's true, it is what is there
to be interacted with.
~ Eugene Gendlin
Owning up to it doesn't make it worse.
Not being open about it doesn't make it go away.
And because it's true, it is what is there
to be interacted with.
~ Eugene Gendlin
Frequently humans act like ostriches, sticking their heads in the sand to not see, think or feel something difficult or unpleasant. In the moment, this may seem to be a good option (often made at an unconscious or sub-conscious level) as it may be extremely daunting or painful to face an external situation or an inner conflict.
You may successfully avoid dealing with something for a while, but eventually it will have to be faced one way or another. It will eventually have to be confronted, felt, dealt with and processed. Even if you don't make a conscious decision to do so, in the end, it will find a way to get your attention, often by disrupting your life in a way you can no longer ignore.
A common coping mechanism for not dealing with things that feel like they will be too much is to compartmentalize them. This means that you literally put this situation, memory or relationship and accompanying feelings in an internal compartment; you lock it securely in the hopes that it can be safely left there and will no longer threaten to cause you suffering.
However, since this compartment is within you and not an actual safe deposit box, its contents are under pressure and will leak out or burst through, triggered by a situation, thought, or feeling. This often happens at a highly inconvenient time, and is usually more painful or has more consequences than if you had faced it in the first place!
So I encourage you to find the courage to face whatever is troubling you, or whatever situation you find yourself in. As Gendlin says above, owning up to it won't make it worse and not facing it doesn't make it go away. It is something to be worked with and processed. The only way out is through.
You may successfully avoid dealing with something for a while, but eventually it will have to be faced one way or another. It will eventually have to be confronted, felt, dealt with and processed. Even if you don't make a conscious decision to do so, in the end, it will find a way to get your attention, often by disrupting your life in a way you can no longer ignore.
A common coping mechanism for not dealing with things that feel like they will be too much is to compartmentalize them. This means that you literally put this situation, memory or relationship and accompanying feelings in an internal compartment; you lock it securely in the hopes that it can be safely left there and will no longer threaten to cause you suffering.
However, since this compartment is within you and not an actual safe deposit box, its contents are under pressure and will leak out or burst through, triggered by a situation, thought, or feeling. This often happens at a highly inconvenient time, and is usually more painful or has more consequences than if you had faced it in the first place!
So I encourage you to find the courage to face whatever is troubling you, or whatever situation you find yourself in. As Gendlin says above, owning up to it won't make it worse and not facing it doesn't make it go away. It is something to be worked with and processed. The only way out is through.
Call me for a free phone consultation
if you would like some help facing what is true
if you would like some help facing what is true
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