Buddhist teacher and psychologist Tara Brach shares the acronym RAIN to be with feelings in a mindful and compassionate way. It is a tool that can be accessed in a guided meditation (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8e_tAEM80k) or as you become familiar with it, can be done quickly in the moment to deal with a difficult feeling.
The steps are:
Recognize whatever you are feeling, whether it's fear, anger, anxiety, agitation, a sense of unworthiness ( Tara calls this the Trance of Unworthiness) or sadness.
Allow the feeling to be present. Be as open to it and as curious about it as you can, rather than distracting yourself or pushing it away.
Investigate the feeling, less in an analytical/mental way, and more in noticing where it is in your body and what it feels like in terms of sensation in the moment.
Nurture yourself! This is often the most difficult step as you may be unaccustomed to treating yourself kindly. How can you nurture this feeling? What can you say to yourself, or how can you physically nurture yourself (hand on heart for example) that will soothe the feeling?
If you are interested in more information about RAIN: https://www.tarabrach.com
Peggy Handler, MFT, is a psychotherapist in San Francisco's Noe Valley