Peggy Handler Psychotherapy
  • Home
  • Psychotherapy
    • Therapy Modalities
  • Therapy Specializations
    • Mid-and-Later Life
    • Conscious Aging
    • Work-Life Balance
  • About Peggy
    • Consultation
  • Contact
  • Psychotherapy Blog

Peggy Handler
psychotherapy

Self-Acceptance

9/23/2018

1 Comment

 
The curious paradox is
that when I accept myself
​just as I am,
then I can change.

- Carl Rogers
Most people who come into my office have a list of things  they hope to change. They usually are not happy with themselves for not living up to a standard of how they want their lives to be and are tired of suffering. They often want me to tell them what to do, how to change,  and how to fix their lives. 
Many people find it hard to imagine accepting themselves as they are, when clearly they are not who they want to be, do not feel the way they want to feel and are not where they want to be in life. This leads to a lack of curiosity about their anxiety, depression, addiction or self-rejection.
Sound familiar? It's easier to find a self-help book telling you how to change than one guiding you to accept yourself, to dig deep and find a place of compassion and love for yourself, just as you are.
Paradoxically, this is the precursor to any lasting change. A solid foundation of self-regard and acceptance ( and maybe some humor about it!) will see you through all that you will face throughout your life. The idea that perfection is achievable or even desirable, will only create internal conflict in your life. 
Self-acceptance does NOT mean complacency; it "simply" means befriending yourself, creating an internal spaciousness to explore who you are and what your true desires are. This allows shifts to occur, sometimes subtle, sometimes dramatic. In either case, change comes from a place of positive self-regard rather than despair, anger or self-recrimination. 
Contact me if you would like to explore accepting yourself more fully. 
1 Comment

    Author

    Peggy Handler, MFT, is a psychotherapist in San Francisco's Noe Valley

    Archives

    December 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    October 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Connection
    Creativity
    Fears
    Feelings
    Love
    New Possibilities
    Slowing Down
    Strength
    Turning Within

    RSS Feed

    Follow my therapy blog on Twitter
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Psychotherapy
    • Therapy Modalities
  • Therapy Specializations
    • Mid-and-Later Life
    • Conscious Aging
    • Work-Life Balance
  • About Peggy
    • Consultation
  • Contact
  • Psychotherapy Blog