It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions that seem irremediable become relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. ~ Carl Rogers Psychotherapy is many things and works in many ways. However, perhaps the most basic, the most primordial way therapy works is by providing a space to speak, to be heard, to be received, to be witnessed.
How often are we truly listened to? How often do we feel free to say whatever is on our mind or in our heart? How often can we speak fully about what troubles us, about our fears, our confusions, our dreams, our hopes? How often is the listener truly present? Psychotherapy provides a container, a sacred space to speak the unspeakable, to allow the "unthought known" to take shape. By allowing thoughts to flow into the shared therapy space and be received by the therapist-listener, "ah-has" and epiphanies frequently occur; the edges soften on previously rigid beliefs, and confusing ideas or feelings may become "clear flowing streams." All this from the simple yet profound experience of being heard!
5 Comments
Patricia
1/17/2015 02:14:32 pm
I've recently experienced someone listening to me so intently at work. I have felt so suppored, validated, and acknowledged. I've been offered true comfort, and in fact, I even feel loved. A lovely takeaway amidst, oftentimes the harshness of corporate America.
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1/18/2015 04:53:41 am
I'm so glad you had that experience Patricia! Listening and being listened to are highly underrated in this culture. When we are truly listened to, we feel received and as you said, even loved! Thanks for sharing your experience and may you have many more experiences like this.
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Patricia
1/18/2015 06:10:55 am
Thank you for your reply, Peggy. I was also invited to this person's office to be "listened to" again. Perhaps it's more than that at this point. It does have me thinking! (I can only hope) :)
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1/18/2015 06:32:28 am
May it be what your heart desires! And in any case, it began with allowing yourself to speak freely and to be received, whatever their motives may be....
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Patricia
1/18/2015 11:26:10 am
Thank you, Peggy. It is what my heart desires, but spiritually speaking, I know if it is meant to be, it will. I just need to remain open, honest, and loving. I've. worked hard at clearing my path for many decades, so I am unencumbered, at least I like to think so. I feel free and open and my outward spirit is indicative of such!
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AuthorPeggy Handler, MFT, is a psychotherapist in San Francisco's Noe Valley Archives
December 2020
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