Peggy Handler Psychotherapy
  • Home
  • Psychotherapy
    • Therapy Modalities
  • Therapy Specializations
    • Mid-and-Later Life
    • Conscious Aging
    • Work-Life Balance
  • About Peggy
    • Consultation
  • Contact
  • Psychotherapy Blog

Peggy Handler
psychotherapy

Unconditional Love

4/5/2016

0 Comments

 
The supreme happiness of life
is the conviction of being loved
for yourself,
​or more correctly,
being loved in spite of yourself.

~ Victor Hugo​
​
Everyone craves the sense of safety and well-being that comes from feeling loved and accepted; yet frequently love (for others, from others and for ourselves) seems to be given or withdrawn according to perceptions of good or bad behavior, strengths or weaknesses, flaws or abilities, body image and age. Love is too often conditional, or perceived as being so. 
It is often hard to imagine or believe ( I hear this from my therapy clients all the time) that you are lovable or deserving of love because of ______ ( fill in the blank!). Maybe you will feel worthy of love when you_________( again fill in the blank), sometime in the future, a future that never arrives.
Often this sense of shame about who you are will cause you to perform all kinds of (usually unconscious) strategic  maneuvers to keep people from getting close enough to see your flaws. The fact that the term "impostor syndrome" resonates widely in our culture today, speaks to how many people feel they are hiding  and fooling people about who they really are. And that it's absolutely necessary to do so, or risk being rejected.
Imagine how free you would feel if you felt inherently lovable, just as you are (despite whatever you feel to be your flaws)! Imagine how you might do things differently, feel differently, take more risks, feel more open, more satisfied and less inhibited. Imagine how it would alter your relationships if you could be more authentically you, no longer needing to hide all the time behind a social persona. Relationships of all kinds would feel profoundly different, whether friendships, intimate or family relationships, co-workers. and community relationships. I realize that this is more easily said than done. However, maybe it would be worthwhile to sit down and write about this, meditate on it or enter therapy to find ways to truly embody a sense of your inherent lovable-ness. 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Peggy Handler, MFT, is a psychotherapist in San Francisco's Noe Valley

    Archives

    December 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    October 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Connection
    Creativity
    Fears
    Feelings
    Love
    New Possibilities
    Slowing Down
    Strength
    Turning Within

    RSS Feed

Copyright © 2018-2023 Peggy Handler | San Francisco
  • Home
  • Psychotherapy
    • Therapy Modalities
  • Therapy Specializations
    • Mid-and-Later Life
    • Conscious Aging
    • Work-Life Balance
  • About Peggy
    • Consultation
  • Contact
  • Psychotherapy Blog